


Even Primes can Cry

by Pippyville



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body horror (minor), Eventual Fluff, Family Feels, Insomnia, June is a good mom friend, Literal Sleeping Together, Nightmares, Optimus Prime Needs a Hug, Ratchet is concerned, Robot gore tw, Team as Family, everyone is concerned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25787428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pippyville/pseuds/Pippyville
Summary: Optimus Prime is plagued by nightmares every night, and it leaves him frightened and tired constantly. The team takes notice and decides to help.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 80





	Even Primes can Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed a severe lack of Hurt/comfort involving Optimus and his team, so I wrote it myself.

_Bumblebee lay on the ground, energon leaking from all places on his body. Optimus cradled his helm, “Bumblebee, please. Stay with me, you need to stay awake!”_

_“I’m sorry Optimus.” Bumblebee’s voice was back? It didn’t matter, all that mattered was that he was hurt._

_“I’ll comm Ratchet.” Optimus tried, but only received static, “Please, stay awake Bumblebee. Bumblebee?” the young bot was limp, his optics dull. “No! Please, you need to wake up!”_

_“Optimus?” A voice sounded behind him. Optimus turned, horrified at the sight before him. Bulkhead collapsed onto his knees, holding Arcee’s dismembered upper half. “Goodbye.”_

_“Bulkhead, Arcee!” Optimus tried to grab them as Bulkhead tumbled down, but couldn’t let go of Bumblebee. He couldn’t, not even if he wanted too. Ratchet knelt down beside the two dead members before looking up at Optimus._

_“This is your fault.” He whispered, his body starting to rust and his optics flashing green “You killed us with your war.”_

_Optimus couldn’t even scream as he watched his best friend rust away and fall to pieces. He grabbed at the air as the others fell to dust as well, leaving only T-cogs and optics behind. He gasped and looked down, feeling liquid swirl around him. Energon was seeping from the ground at an alarming rate, warm and thick._

_As he watched completely frozen, it started to turn purple. He heard his name being called and saw five small figures swimming in it. Jack, Miko and Rafael all clung to each other and to the dust of their deceased partners as June and Agent Fowler bled red into the purple-blue swirls of liquid._

_With no sound but gasps, the five of them were swallowed by the dark energon, leaving Optimus alone._

_Not for long though, as voices filled his head. Megatron’s battle cry and Starscream’s pleading, Knockout’s preening and many other Decepticons. They all walked on top of the energon like it was solid ground and grinned at the prone Autobot leader, who was trapped in the whirl of energon._

_Optimus watched Alpha Trion appear and shake his head in disappointment before forcing his chest open and stealing the Matrix of Leadership. He felt very small all of a sudden, the Decepticons were all the size of Omega Supreme, surrounding him._

_Orion Pax tried to close his eyes, but only heard the voices of his comrades, asking him why he had killed them, why he had let them down. A sharp feeling entered his body and he looked down. Megatron’s sword was embedded in his chest, “Goodbye, Orion.” he whispered, dark energon starting to seep out of his optics and mouth._

_A servo erupted from the ground and pulled an undead Cliffjumper from underneath Optimus. He grabbed the Prime’s pede and dragged him under with him, with the echoes of the Autobot’s screams in his audio receptors._

Optimus sat bolt upright and screamed, quickly pressing a servo to his mouth to muffle the sound. As his vision cleared and he realized it was a dream, he shuddered and felt coolant run down his face. He couldn’t be bothered to wipe his tears away, so he let them fall as he sobbed quietly.

He pulled his legs up to his chest and pressed his mouth against his arm as his vocalizer let out a strangled noise. He took deep vents, trying to calm himself. It wasn’t working, he felt himself become more panicked as the seconds ticked by.

_You’re a Prime_. He scolded himself. _Act like it!_ He clenched his fists and ground his dental plates, taking another large, shuddering vent. As he slowly calmed down and wiped his optics, he looked around his room. It was dark, but he didn’t mind that. A small stream of light came from the hallway that was almost always lit. 

He lay back down for a while, tossing and turning a bit until he sighed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to recharge until he knew the others were safe, so he stood up.   
His door squeaked a little bit as he opened it, and his pedes made loud sounds on the floor, as much as he tried to step lightly. He couldn’t go back to berth however, not until he knew his team was okay.

The closest room was Ratchet’s. The medic was fast asleep when Optimus poked his head in, peaceful as can be. His helm was resting on some data pads, meaning he had probably fallen asleep doing work. Optimus closed the door as quietly as he could and went to check the others.

Of course, they were all fine. Optimus had nearly been caught by Arcee’s light sleeping, but she’d just rolled over and gone back into recharge. Optimus knew the children were safe, he’d seen them only this morning. 

He tried to get back into recharge, but his dream kept creeping up on him when he’d close his optics. He sat back up after an hour and grabbed a data pad. If he couldn’t rest, he may as well do something productive.

Ratchet walked into the main room, waving to Optimus, “Morning.”

“Good morning, Ratchet.” Optimus greeted him, returning his wave with a small nod. “Did you recharge well?”

“Well as I can.” Ratchet stretched, “We the first ones up?”

“Arcee woke a few minutes ago.” Optimus informed him, “She’s in the training room.”

“Minutes?” Ratchet raised an optic ridge.

Optimus thought for a moment, “I suppose the children are rubbing off on me. And June, of course.”

“Fowler?”

“Perhaps.” Optimus stood aside when Ratchet gently pushed his arm to get to the monitors.

“Well, don’t expect me to use those words.” Ratchet grumbled.

“Of course not.” Optimus smiled slightly at his friend’s demeanor. Ratchet was grumpy, but his spark was soft. His smile dropped as he watched him and his voice filled his head. _This is your fault. You killed us with this war_. Optimus shook the thought from his head. No, Ratchet was fine, he was standing right in front of him. 

“Optimus?” Ratchet’s real voice cut through his thoughts, and suddenly his medic was standing in front of him and looking worried, “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright.” Optimus nodded, “I simply got lost in thought.”

Ratchet squinted at him disbelievingly, but he didn’t have evidence against it so he let it slide. 

Every night was the same for the next few weeks. Optimus would have a horrifying nightmare, usually the same one, and would need to check on everyone before going to do something to distract himself. 

Eventually he stopped recharging altogether, knowing that a nightmare would wake him in fear, and he couldn’t let that happen too many times, lest the others hear his screams. He needed to be strong for the team, he couldn’t let them down.

Of course, without recharge Optimus soon became tired. His optics were constantly heavy, and he had a hard time focusing on things. He found himself slipping, tired noises escaping his vocalizer occasionally. He managed to pass them off as other things, but for how long?

Somehow, June noticed first.

“Ratchet?” She asked, her eyes wandering to where Optimus stood with a data pad in his servo, typing, deleting, and re-typing things. 

“Hm?”

“You guys need to sleep, right?”

“In a way, yes.” Ratchet looked at her, “Although it’s a bit different from human sleep. Why?”

“Oh, nothing really. I’ve just noticed some of you look tired sometimes.”

“We need sleep as much as a human does, even if it’s a bit different.” Ratchet shrugged, “We’re bound to get tired sometimes.”

“Right.” June smiled, “Thanks.”

“Uh...sure.” Ratchet’s faceplate showed confusion, but he shrugged it off. June was a nurse, of course she’d want to know about the biology of the aliens that she had come to know. Ratchet watched her for a moment, but she simply turned around and started talking to Jack. 

June waited until Ratchet was busy before climbing off of the platform. She briskly walked over to Optimus Prime and tapped his foot. “Optimus?”

Optimus looked down at her, blinking. “Hello Miss Darby. Can I help you?”

“Can I talk to you? Privately?” She asked. 

Optimus thought for a moment, “Of course.” he held out his hand and she stepped on. It was a brief walk into the energon storage room, and he put her down on one of the crates. “What was it you’d like to tell me?”

“Are you okay?” June asked, not mincing words.

Optimus paused, “I am quite alright Miss Darby. Why-”

“Don’t give me that.” June crossed her arms. She felt like she was scolding a child somehow, not a building sized leader of the Autobots, “I’ve been watching you all day, you’ve been dropping things and spacing out. You look exhausted.”

“I am fine.” Optimus gave the woman a small smile, trying to look reassuring. “I simply have been a bit clumsier today.”

“I might not know a lot about Cybertronians, but I can recognize when someone hasn’t slept in a while.” June softened her voice, “You’re tired, Optimus. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Miss Darby, please. I’m not tired, I just…” he trailed off as dizziness overcame him for a moment. He didn’t let it show, keeping his pedes firmly on the ground.

June touched his servo, “Please Optimus, just rest for a minute. It would do you good.”

Optimus held back a sigh, “Ma’am, I’m quite alright.”

June looked into his optics, still very aware of the exhaustion behind them, but relented. She couldn’t argue too much with a Prime after all, “Okay, okay.” she said, surrendering, “Just please, try and sleep tonight.”

Optimus nodded and helped her down from the crate, “I will.”

“Good.” June pat his leg, “I still think you need it.”

Optimus knew she was right. He could feel himself sway slightly and he’d nearly passed out this morning. His dreams wouldn’t allow sleep, however. Only fear.

Miko groaned as Rafael passed her in the game, “I give up!” she yelled, chucking the remote onto the couch, “You’re too good at this!”

“I’ve played against an actual car before, so...that could explain it.” Raf smiled, looking at Bumblebee, who gave him a thumbs up. June watched them play, a smile on her face. She glanced back at Optimus as he was talking to Bulkhead about something, and concern swelled in her heart as she saw his servo tremble slightly. 

She sighed and turned back to the kids. Jack was trying to do his homework, but kept glancing at the two other’s game. “Jack, why don’t you finish that at home?” June said, “You obviously can’t concentrate.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks mom.” Jack smiled and stuffed everything back into his backpack, “Hey guys, room for one more?”

“Heck yeah!” Miko grabbed her controller again, “But no racing games, lets try something else, or Raf’s gonna kick our butts!”

Bulkhead wandered over to watch, “What are you playing now?”

“We’re gonna play….hm…” Miko thought for a moment, “We only really have racing games...Oh! I have some games I took from my house in my backpack!” June rolled her eyes as Miko practically jumped off of the ladder and raced to grab her bag. “I’ve got some games here! I have Mario!”

“Oh, I like Mario!” Raf laughed as Miko rushed up and plugged it in, “it’s been a while though, so I might be rusty.”

June heard Optimus’s heavy pedesteps stall and looked up at him. He stumbled and leaned against the wall, his optics squeezed shut. She wasn’t the only one that noticed. 

“Optimus, what’s wrong?” Ratchet asked, placing his servo on his friend’s arm. 

“Nothing.” Optimus said. The lie was, quite frankly, terrible, and Ratchet sighed.

“Okay, that’s a flat out lie.” He muttered, pulling his friend’s arm, “Come on, let’s get you to the medical berth.” the others took notice of the goings ons, and started to look confused.

Optimus opened his mouth to protest, but it died. He blinked and frowned slightly, “R-Ratchet-” June and the others gasped as his knees buckled and he fell, pulling Ratchet down with him.

“Optimus!” Raf paused the game, “Ratchet, what happened?”

“I don’t know.” Ratchet felt for overheating systems and found none. He stood, “Bulkhead, put him on the berth.”

“Uh, right!” Bulkhead gently lifted his unconscious leader off of the ground. Ratchet directed him to the berth where he lay Optimus down. He quickly started scanning the Prime, a worried look on his faceplates.

“Ratchet?” June spoke up.

“What?” Ratchet snapped, feeling Optimus’s neck cables.

“I don’t think anythings wrong with him.”

“What?” Ratchet repeated, pausing to look up at the woman, “Miss Darby, he’s passed out, something’s obviously wrong.”

“I think he’s just exhausted.” June said, looking at the leader, “he’s been acting off all day. For the past few days really. He’s been all shaky and tired, I think he’s not sleeping.”

“I…” Ratchet thought for a moment, “He has been a little...off, lately.”

“He’s been awake every time I would be up late or early.” Arcee piped up, “I haven’t seen him sleep since…”

“Oh dear.” Ratchet said under his breath, “Optimus, why?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.” June said, “I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by telling everyone.”

“No, it’s alright.” Ratchet rubbed his optics, “He’s stubborn.”

“You guys sleep like humans?” Miko asked.

“Yeah, kinda.” Bulkhead said, “We call it recharge, but it’s pretty much the same thing. I guess Optimus just had a hard time recharging or something.”

Ratchet sighed, “Well, let’s all keep our voices down and make sure he sleeps for as long as he can now.”

“Ay yi sir!” Miko whispered with a salute.

_Burning, dying, screams, energon._

Optimus was forced out of recharge with a strangled scream, the same way he woke almost every night. He didn’t remember falling asleep, which was odd. He stayed on his berth and vented deeply, counting down from ten.

“Optimus?” A small voice made his optics open. Rafael stood at the edge of his berth, his small hand resting on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Optimus blinked, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s the medbay.” Rafael said, “you screamed, what happened?”

“I-Nothing.” Optimus looked around, confused. “Why am I in the medical bay?”

“You passed out.” Rafael frowned, “Optimus, you’re shaking really bad. Did you have a bad dream?”

“I-” Optimus’s voicebox stalled, and his voice cracked. Rafael gently grabbed his digit, hugging it. “I’m alright.”

Rafael looked up at him, and seemed to want to say something, but Ratchet entered the room carrying an energon cube. “Optimus, you’re awake!” Optimus saw his blue eyes turn green like they had in his dream, and energon started to spill out of his armor. He blinked, and Ratchet was just standing there, a concerned look on his face and looking completely fine. “Are you okay?”

Optimus felt like crying, a shudder running through his body. He forced the feeling away, not wanting to scare the two beings in the room. He felt Rafael squeeze his digit tight. “Optimus?”

“I’m-I’m fine.” Optimus said, his voice a whisper. 

Ratchet sat next to him on the bed, sending the other Autobots a small ping to let them know they needed to stay away for the time being. He could tell Optimus was struggling to keep himself calm as it was, he didn’t need the whole team clamouring around him. Although what had frightened the Prime enough to make him lose his cool, Ratchet didn’t know. 

“Raf, will you please tell the others to wait until I call them in?” Ratchet asked. He’d already commed the team, but he needed an excuse to get the young boy out. Rafael hesitated before giving Optimus’s digit another hug and hopping off the berth with Ratchet’s help. After the shut the small human-sized door behind him, Ratchet turned back to Optimus and planted a servo on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

Optimus leaned into his friend slightly, and Ratchet felt him tremble. His optics were unfocused, and he was obviously trying very hard to keep himself together. “Optimus.” Ratchet cupped his friend’s face, “it’s alright.”

Ratchet saw his leader’s optics brim with coolant, and watched in shock as tears fell down his face. He embraced Optimus, his friend's larger frame making it a bit awkward. Optimus buried his face in Ratchet’s shoulders and cried, silent sobs wracking his frame.

Ratchet squeezed him tight and let him cry. After a few minutes, Optimus pushed away and wiped his face, a look of shame spreading across it. Ratchet gently prodded him, “Optimus, what’s wrong?”

Optimus vented slowly, “I...I keep seeing all of you in my dreams. Y-” he paused for a moment, “You’re all dead in them. Dying, or hurt or-or-”

“Optimus. We’re all okay.” Ratchet took his servo and held it to his chest, “We’re all safe, we’re all okay.”

“Cliffjumper isn’t.” Optimus whispered, his vents hitching. “T-Tailgate isn’t. Bumblebee’s voice-”

“Wasn’t your fault.” Ratchet’s spark ached for the bot in front of him, “None of that was your fault.”

Optimus stayed quiet, holding onto Ratchet’s servo like a lifeline. “I’m sorry.” he said eventually, “I’m acting like a fool.”

“You’re not.” Ratchet tried to assure him, “You’re frightened.”

“I’m supposed to be strong.” 

“You are strong Optimus.” Ratchet tilted Optimus’s helm to look into his optics, “You’re our leader, yes, but you’re a bot just like any of us. You feel things, you’re not a stone wall, and you shouldn’t have to be. You’re strong, you’ve been through more slag than any of us. You’re allowed to be frightened, you’re allowed to cry.”

Another tear flowed down Optimus’s face, “I…”

“You haven’t been recharging, have you?” Ratchet asked. 

Optimus shook his head, “I can’t. Nightmares.”

Ratchet sighed, pushing down his need to chide the Prime. He didn’t need it, not right now. “You need to try.”

“I am.” Optimus’s shoulders slumped, “Or...I was. I know what will happen.”

“Nightmares.” 

Optimus nodded. Ratchet gently wiped the coolant off of his cheek, “Are you okay with the others knowing, or would you like to keep it a secret?”

Optimus hesitated, “They’ll want to know, and I don’t want to lie to them.”

“Okay.” Ratchet gave him a small smile, “Do you want some time to collect yourself?”

“Yes, please.” Optimus tried to return the smile. It was a little lopsided, but it warmed Ratchet’s spark.

“Okay, I’ll give you some time.” he squeezed Optimus’s servo and let go, retreating to the room the others were in, leaving Optimus alone.

When Ratchet explained what had happened to the others, they were, of course, concerned. They wanted to see him, to make sure he was okay, but Ratchet shook his helm.   
“He wants to be alone right now.” He said, blocking the doorway with his body, “Just for a moment.”

Arcee nodded, “That’s reasonable. Is he...okay?”

“He’s...he’s alright. Just…” Ratchet sighed, “He’ll be okay.”

June pressed her lips together, regretting not saying anything sooner, “Is there any way we can help him?” 

“He just needs time, I’m afraid.” 

Miko put her chin in her hand, thinking. “What if we had a sleepover or something?”

“What do you mean?” Raf asked.

“I mean, Optimus is having trouble sleeping because of nightmares, right? I had nightmares when I first came to America, but my host parents found out and would sleep in the same room as me sometimes. It helped a lot, until I stopped being scared!” Miko brightened up, “We could all set up in the main room and watch a movie together, something funny or happy! Then we could all sleep together on the floor.”

Bulkhead chuckled, “Miko, Optimus doesn’t party.”

“Not a party, Bulk!” Miko rolled her eyes, “Maybe not even a proper sleepover. Just everyone in the same room, making him feel safe!”

Bumblebee beeped in agreement, giving the girl a thumbs up.

“Actually...that could work.” Arcee said slowly, “It would be fun anyways, even if it didn’t. Relaxing, maybe. We could all use that.”

“Yeah!” Miko pumped her fist, “so are we doing it?”

Ratchet shrugged, “Be my guest. You’ll need to figure out what to do about your parents though.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem.” June smiled, liking Miko’s idea “I’ll ask if the kids can stay at my place, and we’ll all come here.”

“We’ve gotta ask Optimus first.” Bulkhead pointed out.

“I like the idea.” A soft voice made them look up. Optimus stood in the doorway, looking better, if still exhausted.

“Hey Optimus.” June said, “How are you feeling?”

“Much better.” Optimus said.

:You like the sleepover idea?: Bumblebee asked, his optics wide.

“I...I do.” Optimus nodded.

“Yes!” Miko giggled, “Sleepover with the bots!”

Ratchet couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed at her loud voice, instead turning to his friend. “You’re sure you’re alright with it?”

“Of course.” Optimus nodded, watching June text the children’s parents about having them stay the night as Miko danced around.

Both Rafael and Miko’s parents agreed to having them stay with the Darby’s. The humans groundbridged to Jack’s house to pick up a few things before coming back. They set up sleeping bags and pillows before turning to the bots.

“Do you guys sleep with anything? Like blankets or things?” Rafael asked.

“Not usually.” Arcee shrugged, “Although when the military stocked our base they didn’t get the memo that we were metal, and gave us huge ones. They’re in the storage closet nearest Bulk’s room.”

Miko gasped, “You guys need to use them!” 

Bulkhead chuckled, “Maybe we’ll take 'em out later.” 

Optimus watched them all with a soft spark. He felt optics on him and turned to see Ratchet. “Yes?”

“You know, you’re allowed to join the fun.” Ratchet smiled, gesturing to the chaos on the ground. 

“As are you.”

“I’m not the one who needs it.” 

Optimus hummed slightly, but didn’t respond. He just didn't feel like it. Ratchet seemed to understand and went to his console for final checks on his projects before shutting the computers down.

In the end, they managed to make Optimus sit down crossed legged against the wall they had set up a projector on. Ratchet and Bumblebee took his sides, with Arcee and Bulkhead laying on their chests. Jack, Miko and Rafael lay in a small cuddle pile with each other in front of them all, with June sitting closer to Ratchet.

Rafael had chosen the movie, much to Ratchet’s relief. He’d been worried Miko would be given the duty and pick something violent. He’d called it something strange, _“Winnie the Pooh.”_

Optimus trained his optics on the screen as a song started to play. He wondered if this _Hundred Acre Woods_ was a real place, or if this was a purely fictional fairy tale. As the animals were introduced, he found himself smiling a bit as he fell for their charms. He glanced at his teammates. 

Bulkhead and Bumblebee were both looked very invested in the tale, their optics glued to the screen. Arcee was grinning lopsidedly, enchanted. Even Ratchet tilted his helm in fascination of the film. The children were all engrossed, but June kept glancing up at Optimus.

Optimus sent her a small wave, and she smiled. She scooted closer to him and leaned against his leg, her small, warm body giving him a feeling of being protected. He was puzzled. How could he feel protected by someone so small and breakable? 

It didn’t really matter, he decided.

Miko looked up at Optimus around halfway into the movie, as Tigger pounced on Pooh. She poked her friends, “You guys, look at Optimus.” Her loud whisper carried to the other bots and June, who all followed her eyes to their leader.

Optimus’s helm had fallen onto the wall, slightly crookedly. His optics were shut and his body was limp. He had a small smile playing on his lips, and his chest rose and fell slowly. He looked peaceful, so very peaceful. 

June muttered something to Arcee, who nodded, “Be right back.” she whispered, following June to the closet. Arcee pulled out one of the never-used blankets and brought it back. “Here.” she said. Ratchet and Bulkhead carefully lowered their leader onto the floor so his back wasn’t against the wall. He only showed signs of waking once, when he curled up slightly, but was back to sleep in no time. 

Arcee put the blanket over Optimus’s recharging form, and the humans tucked it around his body. Rafael’s hair was blown slightly from Optimus’s ex-vent, and he giggled into his hand.

He grabbed his own smaller blanket and snuggled up to Optimus’s neck. “Gonna keep him company.” he whispered to the others. Miko grinned and put her own blanket near Optimus’s chest, and Jack followed suit. June looked up at Ratchet, who nodded, before curling up near Optimus’s smokestacks. The bots all watched the four of them fall asleep next to the large bot, with the movie still playing in the background. Bulkhead lay down on his back next to Optimus, resting a servo on his shoulder. Bumblebee went to the other side, mindful of the humans. Arcee curled up near his legs.

Ratchet considered turning off the movie, but figured his large digit would break the machine. He let it play as he lay down next to Optimus’s helm, “Goodnight.” he whispered, closing his own optics.

Optimus slept well that night for the first time in weeks. No nightmares plagued him, only soft voices. When he would wake in the morning he would feel a bit awkward, a bit out of place, and a bit different, but for now they all slept in a pile of warmth and love as the outro song played in the background. 

It was quite peaceful. No worries, no war, just the loving embrace of dreams and family. 

Yes, it was just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending came to me because I was watching Winnie the Pooh as I wrote this and wanted Optimus to have the joy of seeing it too with his family. Team Prime is a family and I stick by that.   
> I hope you guys liked it!


End file.
